And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
