Where is the hickey?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
