I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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