I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
