Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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