Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
