Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
