Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
