And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
