Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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