I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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