spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize