Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
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Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
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If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
How does one acquire holy water?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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