She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.