The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.