Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009