At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!