Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have