She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
her facebook's as public as her vagina
people are starting to question the shark bite story
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We left the knife in your bed.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.