it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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