You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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