Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
