i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i may or may not be watching the land before time
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
