I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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