just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
