It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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