He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
