Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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