I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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