I forgot how hot balto sounded
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
