talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Pooping to opera.
Randomize