you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
