he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
it was like eating out sand paper
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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