:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
