I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize