he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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