We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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