Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
