Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
