bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
