I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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