idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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