Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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