just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize