Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
