If i could tip my vagina, i would.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
