I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
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Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
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