so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
