"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
