I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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