This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
