My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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