Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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