Pants 0. Shit 1.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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