FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
