Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
