How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
