she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
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didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
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I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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