I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
