well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
