I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
