a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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